PDP GOVERNMENT, ITS SECURITY AGENTS AND THE THEORY OF "YES, IT IS POSSIBLE"

By Com Jasper Azuatalam

This is one sentence that is rampant in Nigeria under PDP government, "yes, it is possible". It has become the response of the, helpless, gullible and those that have fallen to deceit. It started with fair stories to weird stories and then incredible stories. Imagine, a man was eating Amala and ewedu soup and suddenly he swallowed a razor blade and died, "yes, it is possible". Then, another man died and we were told, he was eating fufu and agbono soup and suddenly, he swallowed a knife. 

"Yes, it is possible". Isn’t it, the knife may have fallen into the soup when it was being cooked. Now, the other man died and we heard he was drinking a cup of coffee and suddenly swallowed a pistol. "Yes, it is possible". The coffee may have been prepared by a soldier and his pistol fell inside the coffee while preparing it. Isn’t it possible? Surely, it is in Nigeria.

Fuel subsidy increased from #600 billion in 2010 to #2.7 trillion in 2011 an election year. "Yes, it is possible". Our population may have quadrupled that year. A handcuffed and hungry Boko harram suspect dispossessed an SSS official who came to feed him of his pistol and took over the entire SSS headquarters with the pistol causing a jail break. 

"Yes, it is possible". It even happened In 'Titanic' and '24'. 

The SSS got information that some Boko Harram members were hiding behind APO legislative quarters with heavy weapons and getting ready to bomb Abuja. They accosted alleged Boko harram members in the building, allegedly engaged them in a heavy gun fire and killed all those occupying the building, but no single weapon was recovered from the dead bodies alleged to be Boko harram members and not even a single knife was found in the whole building. Yes, it is possible. 

The weapons may have disappeared because Bok Harram members are also spirits. Wetin concern Nigerians. Organize a press conference and tell them a frog gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. "Yes, it is possible". It could be a miracle. The next day, it will make the headlines.

$20 billion dollars were recently found to have been missing from the NNPC as the said money was not remitted to the National account. The said amount is more than the 2014 capital budget, even Okonjo Iweala wondered if Nigeria had such amount of money. Yes, it is possible. NNPC is a republic of its own and managed by the De'fecto president, her royal majesty. 

The ministry of interior organized a recruitment exercise through the Nigerian Immigration Service and extorted over #700 million from mostly young unemployed graduates. 

Over 20 young people died in the process and another 100 were injured. The minister of Interior blamed the youths for not being orderly and responsible for their death. Yes, it is possible. Did the minister shot them? At least the wife of the minister has organized a requiem mass for the diseased to rest in peace.

Boko harram murdered over 70 teenagers in a government college in Yobe, the attack was reported to have taken place immediately soldiers left the zone and lasted for many hours, amidst several calls to the security agents by the school authority and well meaning Nigerians. Yes, it is possible. 

The soldiers may be having their sister during the massacre. Body no be fire wood nah. Armored helicopters were recently seen supplying food and weapons to members of the Boko Harram sect in MaidugurI recently, yet the security agents were not aware. Yes, it is possible. Who doesn’t know that the devil is behind Boko harram and may have sent the spiritual helicopter to supply the food and weapons to the sect members?

Nigeria has sunk over 40 billion dollars in the power sector since 1999, yet power generation still stands below 4,000 MW in Nigeria. Even President Jonathan’s town, Ogbia in Bayelsa state has been without power supply for over 9 months. Yes, it is possible. We have learnt that witches and wizards were responsible, till recently when we also learnt that it has become the handiwork of the opposition. 

The universities in Nigeria were at home for 6 months and the Polytechnic students are counting about 8 months at home. The president recently boasted that if the state governments where improving the primary and secondary schools the way he is improving the tertiary institutions, illiteracy would have been a thing of the past in Nigeria. Yes, it is possible. Don’t you know that the home is the best place for students to learn?

Recently, Dr Okonjo Iweala claimed that President Jonathan’s administration has employed over 1.5 million youths in the past 1 year. Yes, it is possible. Don’t you have a telephone set? Have you forgotten that telephone sets are meant for big men and women? If you are not employed, how come you can afford a telephone set? 

Vision 2020, by the year 2020, Nigeria will become the world’s largest economy. Yes, it is possible. If all the goods produced by developed countries are brought into Nigeria and citizens buy all, aren’t we the world’s largest economy? Everything that defies explanation can be explained only in Nigeria.