Ordinary Name, Botanical Name By Pius Adesanmi

The 22-page 2017 State House Appropriation Bill (alias proposed Aso Rock budget for 2017) is a document that must be read only by the brave and the strong.

No lessons learnt from last year's debacle.
No lessons learnt from all the preceding years combined.

The preceding years are no excuse, no alibi. The rot is what President Buhari and his team are supposed to change.

If you are bold enough to read the document, you will be treated to more than a lifetime's worth of absurdities.


In no particular order, I was surprised to notice:

1) That allocations still continue to be made to the State House Clinic. Who exactly is using that medical centre? From Abba Kyari to Baba, everyone is going to London. Their predecessors even tried. They always went to Germany - meaning they spent our funds in Euro. Baba and his people are spending our funds in Pounds. That is heavier on the Nigerian taxpayer than the Euro. And after paying for this medical tourism, Lai Mohammed and Femi Adesina will jump up and say that the people are not entitled to information. If you are a knee-jerk defender of every absurdity of this administration, do not come here to explain to me that the Aso Rock clinic is for the entire Villa community bla bla bla. Once Baba and his sacred cows are not using it, it is symbolically meaningless who else is using it.

2) That a budget in the 21st century still carries such a nebulous entry as "Miscellaneous expenses", not to be confused with another entry, "Other Services, General".

3) That this administration continues to insist on the difference between the ordinary name and the botanical name of the same thing. You will recall that Sacred Cow Babachir Lawal taught us the difference between "weed" and "invasive plant species" while stealing from IDPs, just before they were accidentally bombed by the Army. Now I see a State House budget proposal in which the entry for "purchase of motor vehicles" is different from the entry for "purchase of buses"; the entry for "Refreshment and meals" is different from "purchase of foodstuff and catering materials".

In sum, everything that can be split between ordinary name and botanical name is split in that budget.

In the 2018 budget, we must make progress. I expect to see separate entries for "foreign trips" and "foreign travel"; separate entries for "Books" and "Tomes".

Na God win.