CHIBOK!!! You Need To Understand That Jonathan Can't Go There

Poor Ebele Jonathan! All his demoralized people can see is the fact that he tucked his tail between his legs, did 440 away from Chibok, and ran into the comforting arms of Papa Francois Hollande in Paris. Now the people are saying that even the second arm of our conjugal diarchy, President Mrs Patience Jonathan, seems to be displaying a more robust testicular fortitude than our man who thought discretion was the better part of valour.

BREAKING: President Jonathan has no plan to visit Chibok - Abati

This Nigerian people judging Ebele harshly of course don't know jack about French culture and civilization. They do not know that in the French classical menu that their man has gone to enjoy at the Elysee in Paris, there are 17 courses to a meal, starting with Hors-d'oeuvres and ending with dessert - and that is not counting the wine o. Pray, how is a man struggling to understand what the heavily-accented gourmet chef is explaining to him about each course expected to remember that his people back home are calling him a coward? The table setting for French haute cuisine is complex and confusing. Even those of us who have been exposed to it at very high levels for decades still get confused. Different glasses for water, red, and white wine. Different forks for different everything. How is a man who is thinking about how much easier it is to attack a bowl of fufu and fisherman's soup in Otuoke expected to remember your rants back home? Right now, he is more worried about picking the wrong fork for the wrong course, the wrong glass for the wrong wine, and damaging the prestige of the giant of Africa. Those are more pressing issues to worry about than Chibok.

Besides, not going to Chibok is the lesser of two evils. Look at it this way. You have been budgeting trillions for defense every year. Only, as is always the case in Nigeria, you and all the usual suspects in the Nigerian political establishment have been eating the money in cahoots with the military top brass. The money has never really trickled down to provide 21st century weaponry for your troops. Most of them are still running around with the sort of rifles used by Che Guevara and Fidel Castro in the Sierra Maestra in the 1950s. Their welfare is zero. That huge defense budget never really trickles down for their welfare. Just a few days ago, things came to a head and your troops mutinied. It had to happen. Boko Haram has superior weaponry and far better morale. In essence, you, their Commander-in-Chief, understand only too well that your Nigerian army is an underfunded ragtag establishment. They cannot protect you in Chibok or any of the ungoverned provinces of Boko Haram. To go there, you will need to be protected by the Israelis on your own soil. The soldiers whose weapon and welfare budget you and the usual suspects have stolen cannot be expected to protect you. The evil of being seen to be protected by foreign forces in Nigeria is far greater than the evil of not going to Chibok. You opted for the lesser evil and that is what your people do not understand.

I am curious, though, about questions of Nigeria's sovereignty and dignity in Paris. The so-called African security summit you are attending was convened by the President of France. Those attending with you are the regular Francophone African presidents who have an une vie de boy relationship with France and must go whenever summoned to Paris. I am not sure that I like this idea of the President of France summoning you along with his African boys to Paris. African security summit my foot. You have the Presidents of Cameroon, Niger, Chad, etc, attending. These Francophone guys are all Toundi. What is your own business with Toundi? Leave that sort of relationship with France to the Francophones. When next the President of France tells you that he is worried about security in Africa and wants to convene a summit, tell him to come to Obudu.

Why President Jonathan Canceled Trip To Chibok

Hunt for Chibok Girls is Unlikely to have a Happy Ending" - by: Joe Brock

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Pius Adesanmi