Rivers Niger and Benue May disappear Under Jonathan - Pius Adesanmi

It is not that we didn't have enough hints of the chummy relationship between Nigeria and evanescence. Seems like every thing we touch or move close to disappears no matter the size. In 2003 or thereabouts, two fully loaded oil supertankers, MT Jimoh and MT African Pride, vanished from Nigeria's territorial waters after being arrested. Two. Ships. Vanished. Just like that! Our eyes saw pepper before the ships mysteriously reappeared. As the Cardinals entered the Sistine Chapel to elect a successor to Pope John Paul II, I recall that the self-deprecating joke circulating was that if they gave it to the Nigerian in the room, the world could wake up one day to find an empty space where Saint Peter's Basilica currently stands. It was said that we could take advantage of our son's Papacy to disappear the entire Vatican. I thought it was a sick joke.
Now, over two hundred girls have vanished into Sambisa forest and we can't find them. Enter Vice President Namadi Sambo who woke up to the disappearance of 2000 cows from his farm at one fell swoop! Two thousand cows disappeared in broad daylight. Just like that! Poor man. He can't even mourn his cows too loudly lest he be accused of equating sorrow for his missing cows with sorrow for our missing girls. He can't start‪#‎BringBackMyCows‬. Yet, two thousand cows is a lot of cowries even for the Vice President of Nigeria and I hear the man has been spitting fire quietly. In his shoes, I won't be visiting India on a medical safari anytime soon. The reception will not be warm. You don't want to visit India as a disappearer of cows.

I just pray that I don't wake up some day and hear that 170 million people are looking for rivers Niger and Benue. In president Jonathan's shoes, I'd increase security around those two rivers. They could disappear in broad daylight.

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Pius Adesanmi