BEING A TEXT OF ‘SIN-ACTOR’ IYIOLA OMISORE’S ADDRESS TO PARTY ‘FAITH-FOOLS’, TOUTS AND HANGERS-ON(APOLOGIES, PROFESSIONAL ENFORCERS AND EXPECTANT JOBBERS) ON THE OCCASION OF CONSECRATION AS A PDP GOVERNOR-IN-WAITING, TODAY 8TH FEBRUARY, 2014
My dear people of Osun State, (I refuse to accept the re-naming of the state, remembering the good old days at Ada Golf Course and other interesting spots of leisure when we held the levers of power), I salute your sense of forbearance under this tyrannical government that continues to ensure that only those who work eat. I do not know the point these Lagos importees are making by insisting on seeing every child in school and promoting poverty in the state by feeding them once in a day. Are food vendors going to starve to death? Where do they want the farmers to get farm hands? What a wicked policy!
My good people, I need to re-introduce myself loudly as the activities of these noise makers have almost confined us, the real action men and women, to undeserved obscurity. I remain Christopher Iyiola Omisore, born over 57 years ago to a family upgraded to royalty recently. I am desperately working towards reclaiming what should have been mine at a time when most of those in government were nowhere to be found. I was a contractor during the military regime. I should not restate the fact that I wielded significant financial clout to get anything I wanted. It was a sign of humility and magnanimity on my part that I accepted to be Deputy Governor to that old man, Bisi Akande, who had nothing to show, materially, for his many years in politics.
I fought him to a standstill when he wanted to infect me with his poverty. I destroyed his philosophy of being poor as a public servant. When his late mentor and he wanted to prove stubborn, displaying some old tactics of the First Republic, I scattered their base. His mentor could not survive the modern war stratagems. He refused to learn from the mistakes of Chief Obafemi Awolowo who elected to fight the federal might. He was lucky to have gotten away with a jail sentence, ordinary 10 years out of which 4 was spent. In his own case, he was unlucky for his act of indiscretion; he paid with his life. Some funny people depended on the rule of law. We showed that “power pass power”. Judicial officers who misbehaved by ensuring that I came from prison for the murder trial were dealt with. The court pronounced that those who died killed themselves! I will not entertain any further question on that minor incident. Let somebody shout ‘power’!
As I was saying, the governorship seat had been reserved for me until that incident. The powers in Abuja became jittery. They did not want to risk a military coup that would sweep all of them away. When the political atmosphere in Osun became too tense, they begged me to take a senatorial slot. As a very humble man, I willingly accepted. And what further way do I need to explain to you the stuff of which I am made? I defeated other candidates from the prison, an unprecedented feat you will agree. I received overwhelming votes, even from Esa Oke, Bola Ige’s hometown.
In appreciation of the good fortune which I brought to our great party and my position as an uncommon intellectual, I was made the Chairman of the Appropriation Committee. You know what that means! I also served on other committees such as Aviation and Culture and Tourism. The Ibadan people were unable to showcase the talent of late Lamidi Adedibu outside Oyo State. I represented Osun at the national level.
I was coasting home to victory when one judge, not Chief Bode George, our amiable, sparkling clean leader sent to jail by another APC inspired judge, but one poverty-stricken judicial officer whom we ensured retired with nothing, decided to cancel election results in 10 local governments and gave our mandate to that Islamic fundamentalist. All of us are now suffering from this injustice. Go to Ada Golf Course. It is like a ghost town now. This bush man you call your governor cannot even play Table Tennis, let alone golf.
Ask government accredited caterers. As for you hard guys, how many of you have been receiving protection money from all these shops and other business concerns in Osogbo and its environs? An ordinary police constable can arrest and detain you when in the time past you held meetings with Area Commanders and the Commissioner of Police. “Igba otun npada bo. Ki e stand well well. It will be fire for fire.” There is no Salami to give them our mandate this time around. You must do everything to send them back to where they belong. They will meet us in court this time. Did you see the case of Chief Bode George? It is a foretaste of what is to come.
We were already preparing for our inauguration when the unexpected happened. That God-forsaken judge shattered our dream. He gave our birthright to the invaders from Lagos. Justice Naron, that born-again Christian, had kept to his promise. These agents of confusion wrote a petition against him. They removed him from office. We settled him sha. That Aregbe truncated the already sealed arrangement. We will be ready to forestall any reoccurrence of such misstep. We now have experienced lawyers who are knowledgeable in the art of settlement. The judiciary is firmly in our grips. Any judge who tries to have a different idea will be given the Salami treatment. We have the means and the will to do so.
I would have dealt, mercilessly, with all those who stood in our way. We are good at these things. That cantankerous Ijesha boy was jumping from one place to the other calling us names. He told the people, especially those you kept as clients, that he would render you useless if he became the governor. Has he not done so now? We have to come together again to bring back the good old times. Those in Abuja have promised that money will not be a problem. We will have tonnes of it. It was done in Ondo State. We will repeat same here. We have waited long enough.
I am not familiar with this type of campaign. As I said the last time I participated in a thing like this, I was within the walls of Agodi prison, Ibadan on the vexatious charge of murdering someone who chose to stand in front of a moving train. I won because the good people of the state knew I was the rightful heir to the throne at Oke Fia. I settled for something less, even though somewhat profitable. I have come to fulfil my destiny now. I need your unflinching support to realise this ambition. Won a gba! It is needless to disturb you with what they call manifesto. Power answereth all things. But it suffices to let the doubting Thomases who have been hoodwinked by Aregbe and his propagandists know that we intend to surpass whatever little achievements they cling to and do more. We already have alternatives to all the programmes they use to deceive the people.
OYES
This man called Aregbe has succeeded in re-introducing slave trade through the back door and our people are falling for this pernicious practice. Imagine the disgrace called OYES! He claimed that 20,000 unfortunate indigenes were employed as labourers engaged in public works and environmental sanitation. Each of them is paid N10,000. Oyinlola’s boys spent twice that amount to play golf in a day. I spend times ten of that on a modest room in Nicon Noga Hilton Hotel. I will employ 300,000 youths within 10 days of assumption of office. I will pay each of them N75,000. Osun is clean enough. They will stop clearing roads and drainages. They should be gainfully employed in other areas. Intelligence gathering is one key area. We shall forestall the Boko Haram phenomenon in our state by deploying all of them to the nooks and crannies of the state. Motor parks, beer and paraga joints and all the hide outs of you progressive forces will be officially recognised.
The government at the centre will be more than willing to assist our truly progressive government because that is the only way to keep these fake people away. They will increase our allocation and once we heighten political tension, security votes will be jerked up. We will export our expertise to other states next year. The government at the centre needs to complement the efforts of those undergoing training to teach dissenters and trouble makers some lessons. Our new outfit will be christened Osun Stand Well Well Force.
O’SCHOOLS
Of all the reasons for the current noise-making in the state, the most annoying is the pretence that this government is doing anything in the educational sector. Many local farmers are groaning under the heavy burden of farm work. Their children are now in school. This useless governor is feeding them once in a day. He wants the farmers to remain poor. He claims he is alleviating poverty. Many people are now complaining about the prohibitive costs of farm produce. Ko si agbe mo ni oko. He is even distributing one tablet called Opon Imo to all students. Book sellers are complaining bitterly. He wants to destroy the business climate in Osun before returning to Lagos. We will not allow him.
Contractors have never had it this bad. Our standard public works should be for six months so that we can capture them in the budget for another year. This fundamentalist is erecting structures that will last another fifty years like Awolowo. Contractors in the state are now bankrupt. We will stop the construction of new schools henceforth. What schools sef? Do we really need many schools? They claim to be Awoists but are working assiduously to obliterate the works of the man. Why build new schools? Some sensible governors are organising mass marriage ceremonies for their indigenes. This religious fanatic will not follow that useful path. He wants to be seen as the visionary political office holders. Let him retain that trophy for as long as he stays out of our way.
He claims to be a democrat. Democracy is about choice. Why is he not allowing our children to choose between going to school and staying at home to assist their parents? Why must every child be in school against their will? Artisans are complaining bitterly today. There are no apprentices to be trained. Who will fix your tyres when they suddenly go flat on the road? Where are the mechanics now? Who will assist you in shops and homes? I pity these state very much.
He has worked against the interests of genuine businessmen and women. He claims to be an Ijesha man. His religious fanaticism will not allow him to invest in Ilesha Brewery. He prefers Nasmalt as a fundamentalist. NURTW is smarting for a fight now. They were accustomed to receiving buses and cars as their own share of the cake. They constitute an effective source of enforcing restraint on the recalcitrant members of opposition. Even members of his cabinet are groaning silently. Just take a look at them. Do they look like well fed politicians? The so called commissioners dress like band boys to the Fuji musicians who entertain politicians at rallies. He has not allowed them to flourish. He wants to turn them to Teblik like himself. We will change this nonsense.
O’MEAL
This is another means of deceiving the people and spoiling the children of the poor. They will become uncontrollable soon when they will start to demand balanced diets from their impoverished parents. Was this part of his party manifesto that children would be fed with eggs, meat, rice and other expensive delicacies? O ti ba awon omo je. He don spoil dem finish. Omo kekere kin jeyin. It is against our custom to feed children with eggs. They will become insatiable and selfish. The EFCC should invite this fundamentalist for interrogation. He is attempting to lay the foundation for future aberrant behaviour. A stitch in time saves more than nine.
He also discriminates against other students on account of age. Is it a sin to grow old? This policy will create chaos and disaffection among our children once united by hunger. Aregbe is breaching the constitution of the country. Some people are of the belief that any child fed free of charge cannot make it in life. Ohun ti a ko je iya fun ko nipe. He wants the children to become complacent and indolent. A ko ni gba fun. I will cancel the programme immediately I am sworn in and will invite prominent clerics to come and exorcise the witchcraft and bad luck that this Ijesha man has imposed on our children. Have you seen any Ijesha person doing anything altruistically? Is it for nothing that he is bribing the farmers with money and land to produce food for his experiment? Eyin enia, e wake up! He will initiate your children into Oranmiyan cult. I am an Ife indigene and a good Christian at that. Who should be dragging our people to the ancestral past? An Ijesha or an Ife original? Emi ti di opo Jesu mu. I stand on the promises of Jesus Christ. I am an Israelite by faith.
INFRASTRUCTURE
This man has been wasting scarce resources to construct new roads and repair the existing ones. Were the people walking in the jungle before he came? His arrogance is too much. Because he worked in Lagos for eight years as commissioner, he wants to turn the whole state into a vast building site. If all the roads are good, what will happen to the members of ACOMORAN, Okada riders? This man is too wicked. Ko sun, ko tun je ki eni ti oni ile sun. Very cantankerous and vain.
To support my claim that he is wicked, why on earth will a caring governor invite old men and women to commit suicide through road walk? Eniti o ba fe dagba, ki ndagba ribo ribo. He is asking them to walk to stay healthy. The stingy fellow is not distributing money to them. The little food in their system will be burned for nothing. They will have no energy left to work on farm and their children have been snatched away from them to school. What have they done to deserve this punishment? Are they boxers? Are they footballers? I will order the arrest of anyone who tries to walk when I assume power. He is a bush man.
He has brought us down in the estimation of right thinking people. We, who were known for action on all fronts, are now quiet like “born-again” religionists. He even has the temerity to re-brand us as Ipinle Omoluabi, proclaiming us as Muguns, when we are known for action. We will raise the tempo of activities. He will run back to Lagos that is accommodating. Our people will see action. I am ready, with your support, to make things happen again in our state. This place is too quiet. Can you now see that the story is the same in all the states controlled by them? Oyo, Ogun, Lagos, Ekiti, Osun and Edo states are too quiet. Omo Akin ni wa. Let us live up to our reputation.
We must be ready and willing to confront this man who has kept us out of business for too long. We must regain power. This state is too quiet. Let us make some noise. Let someone shout “power”. Aregbe does not seem to appreciate the enormity of the political problems he is facing. He thinks that joining this new party of the political hustlers who chopped with us when the going was good will save him. Our indefatigable leader in the South West, Alhaji Costly, Buruji Kashamu, Oba lola, Ile Eru, has declared a total war on Aregbe and his Lagos mentor. Our leader understands the level; he is a street-wise maestro.
We want to assure him that we “stand well well”. We will complement his efforts effectively. Many of our operatives have been redundant for too long. They are itching for action. No shaking at all. Let me warn all those who may be wallowing in the illusion engendered by an atmosphere of pervading peace that they should be expecting from us. Omo Akin ni wa. A ko ni se ojo. Osun State is the source. We cannot allow anyone who does not know how to enjoy life spoil our joy.
Let someone shout power again.
